Millions of words have been typed, and oodles of bandwidth have been devoted to the NBA MVP debate. We’ll leave that argument to the experts.
Instead, Page 2 identifies the candidates for the Least Valuable Player: Kwame Brown, L.A. Lakers-Memphis Statistical analysis: Think the Lakers were happy to dump this guy on Memphis? The former No. 1 overall pick is averaging 18.9 minutes per game and shooting 41 percent on free throws. Brown did score a season-high 11 points on April 2 — wait, that was against the Knicks. Since then he has a streak of three consecutive DNP-CDs, including last Friday’s blowout loss to the Warriors, in which he was the only Grizzly not to play. The one thing that undermines Brown’s LVP chances is his contract, which expires at the end of this season.
So, I’m going with UCLA over Tennessee in the title game. If you have that as your final as well, set your pool on fire right now because that’s the most fun you’ll have with it. I’m never right about anything. Then again, even Kwame Brown grabs a rebound every once in a while. You never know.
The Lakers stole Pau Gasol. They hi-jacked him. That should be a crime. You don’t give away Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown and a rookie. I don’t care what’s out there, you can get more than that. You gave away a $100 bill and you got back two nickels and a dime.
It seems like a pretty stupid move by Chris Wallace. No offense, I don’t know him personally, but you don’t give away Pau Gasol for what they got back. I mean, Chicago wanted Pau Gasol. They would have given something back in return. I mean, something. Ladies and gentlemen, they have Darko and Kwame at the four and the five. That’s all I’m going to say.
That might be news to Memphis General Manager Chris Wallace, who explained his reasoning for making the Pau Gasol deal by stating, “Brown was the largest expiring contact we could find.”
Director of Police Larry A. Godwin has urged all citizens of Memphis who will be celebrating any occasion in the downtown area of Memphis to please consider alternative dessert options.
(Now, amazingly, both the Lakers and Washington Wizards can say they were better off for having Brown. Not better off with him, but Washington traded Brown for Caron Butler, and now the Lakers have Gasol. Brown netted All-Stars for two franchises. That’s a pretty good accomplishment for a No. 1 draft pick bust.)
So it appears I picked a bad weekend to be out of town. Posts later relating to the trade. Congrats Lakers - you pulled a Wizards move - traded worthless Kwame and got quality in return.
Think we’ll have quotes from Kwame similar to when he left DC? Along the lines of “I’m happy - I have a better house, a better team” referring to LA? Yeah Kwame…enjoy Memphis. Say hello to Juan Carlos Navarro.
(Keep those emails coming….seriously, I picked a bad weekend to go travelling)
(kwamebrownsucks@gmail.com - I’m checking it now - I promise)
Everyone Hates Kwame
Lakers announcer Stu Lantz recently quipped, “Kwame is the master of the million dollar move and the nickel finish”. That was never more evident then last night (1/17/08) against the Phoenix Suns when Kwame missed at least four shots from point blank range. When your own home announcer disses you, you know you suck.
1. Caron Butler to the Wizards 2. Rasheed Wallace to the Pistons 3. Brandon Roy to the Trail Blazers 4. Baron Davis to the Warriors. 5. Deron Williams to the Utah Jazz.
Name: God Bless Kwame Brown and His Startling Inability to Catch a Leather Sphere
Type: Common Interest - Beliefs & Causes
Description:
Everybody has moments of ineptitude. Few, however, have them as often, or with as much flair, as Kwame Brown, the erstwhile starting center for my beloved Los Angeles Lakers.
But you do not need to be a Lakers fan, or even a basketball fan for that matter, to appreciate what Kwame Brown, with his stunning lack of fine motor skills, is capable of conjuring on any given night.
Whether it’s inexplicably dropping a bounce pass even a four-year old could secure with ease, or finding new and creative ways to miss what appears to the untrained eye to be an easy layup, Kwame Brown’s unique talent for bungling even the most routine basketball plays can be appreciated by almost everyone.
After all, this is a man who has missed not just the rim, but the entire backboard, from two feet away. This is a man who has shot consecutive airballs from the free-throw line and attempted to catch entry passes with his face. This is a man for whom the highest percentage shot in the sport, the dunk, is anything but a sure thing.
If you find yourself anxiously waiting for the next time Kwame walks onto the court, this is your group.
